


wicked undertow

by lcvenotes



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:28:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28526988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lcvenotes/pseuds/lcvenotes
Summary: the thoughts swirling in nick's head after his soulmate's funeral.
Relationships: Nicholas Scratch/Sabrina Spellman
Kudos: 61





	wicked undertow

**Author's Note:**

> caos absolutely missed out on showing us more of grieving nick. i feel like it was a vital part of his character and the thoughts leading up to what actually happened with the "sea of sorrows", but since we didn't get that i decided to write it myself!

Everyone had left the funeral, the only body outside the Spellman property was Nick's as he sat on the steps of their home. 

He'd never felt anything like this before. The feeling of utter and complete devastation, mingling bitterly with numbness and surrealness. He was bundled up warmly, yet he couldn't shake the cold feeling. The only source of warmth was the liquid inside the silver flask; the flask that had become his closest companion in the days following her death. 

Nick didn't know what to do with himself. It's not like he really had anywhere to go other than the room him and Sabrina had been sharing. He couldn't do that, though. He couldn't do that to the Spellmans and he certainly couldn't do that to himself. If he stepped into her room, it would be real. If he stepped in there, she wouldn't be there. No laugh, no smile; no witty, charming, comments thrown at him in a way that only Sabrina knew how to do. 

Yet there's still the pull there. The warm inviting feeling, that he only got when he was with her, tugs at him. Something in him wants to go up there. Something in him, despite knowing how real it would make everything, knows that it's the closest he's ever going to be to her again. 

So with his heart in his stomach, and his dread pushed aside, he climbed up to her room. 

Up the porch steps, in the front door, quiet steps up the stairs and in the hallways, until he's standing in front of her door. He touches the handle, the silence giving way to his shaking hands and shuddering breaths. 

Then he turns the knob. 

It knocks the air out of his entire body, because everything is still the same. The smell, the way the bed was made, the trinkets and objects around her room. It's like she never left, and that's what made it so much worse. 

He doesn't want to touch anything. He doesn't want to taint it knowing that she is the last one who was here. 

The sight of the bed terrifies him, sending goosebumps along his spine, yet it's also warm and inviting. Many nights spent rolling around on it with their lips pressed against one another's. Many nights spent tangled in each other arms, listening to nothing but the faint sound of each other's heartbeats. 

He composes himself, then lies down on the side he had taken ownership of in his recent stays here. He lets out a single shuddering breath when his body is completely pressed into the mattress.

He turns to look at her side, softly gliding his hand over the pillow and the bedding. The feeling of her body laying beside his is so distant, yet so near. It causes his stomach to twist with something so gut wrenching he's not sure he can stand it. 

A strangled sob leaves his throat, and he covers his mouth in an attempt to muffle it. 

And there he lays, sobbing silently into his hand with a dozen thoughts swirling in his head. 

Memories of her that are like a breath of fresh air. 

The feeling of losing her that feels like suffocation. 

He doesn't know how he can do it; how he can live without her. Sabrina Spellman taught him how to love, made him into the Nicholas Scratch that he was proud to be. 

Now that's all gone, caught in the wind like her final breath. 


End file.
